* It's difficult to watch people you care about smoke their lives away. However, smokers need to make the decision to quit because they realize it will benefit them, not because someone else wants them to. They might stop smoking for your sake, but they won't stay stopped unless they're doing it for themselves.

* This doesn't mean you can't help. You can influence a smoker's behavior and can assist him or her in making the decision to quit, and you can provide support and encouragement once he or she has stopped smoking.

» Here’s what you can do to help others quit:

- Tell them you understand how difficult it is to quit smoking: The first few weeks during a smoker's quit can be the toughest. Try to create a stress-free environment whenever possible.

- Make yourself available: Paving the way for a smoke-free future demands availability. For example, he/she should be able to call you whenever he/she gets the urge to smoke. These cravings often last just a few minutes and may recur for several weeks or even several months following cessation.

- Spend time doing things with the quitter to keep his or her mind off smoking:
Go to the movies, take a walk to get past a craving (what many call a "nicotine fit"),
or take a bike ride together.

- Now and then, ask them how things are going: Even if the smoker is the type who prides himself/herself on succeeding on his/her own. He/she will be glad to know that at least one friend is aware of all the obstacles blocking his/her path.
Make it clear to your friend that you respect his decision, that you take him/her seriously and that he/she is on the path to a much better quality of life.

- Perhaps the most important part about helping a friend quit is to not be judgmental: The nicotine in tobacco products is highly addictive and it’s very difficult to quit. Let the smoker know that you care for him/her. And that’s why you’d like to help him/her with ideas to improve his/her chances of quitting when he/ she’s ready.
Ask him/her about what you can do that would best help him/her quit. For example, some people might like constant reminders and encouragement, while others do better with less interaction.

- Focus on the positives rather than the negatives: Most smokers already know that smoking is bad for them and that they need to quit. Instead of telling them what they need to do, try to focus on their achievements.
Tell them you're proud of them as often as you can, and support them with encouraging messages if they slip up.

- Encourage smokers to speak to their doctor: Their doctor knows their medical history and can play an important role in helping them get the proper treatment.
Research shows that those who see their doctor, use FDA-approved medications and take advantage of counseling have the best chance of quitting.

- Never tell a smoker that he/she can have "just one": No matter how much a smoker is tempted to smoke, or how challenged he/she may feel, you should not encourage him/her to smoke for any reason. Doing so may make it harder for the smoker in the long run.

- Stress how pleased you are that they have managed to quit.

- Congratulate them, reward them: The rewards don't have to be expensive: an invitation to a restaurant "in the non-smoking section", to the movies or to a concert, or offering to perform an unpleasant task that would otherwise be theirs… The possibilities are endless. These small tokens of encouragement will help them feel that quitting is not linked solely to feelings of deprivation.
An immediate reward is far more effective than a promise of things to come: "Why don't you watch this show you enjoy so much, and meanwhile I'll finish up the household chores, to celebrate another cigarette-free day" is more effective than saying "Next winter, we'll go on a trip together".

- Express your conviction that he/she will succeed in remaining a non-smoker.

- If your quitter "slips":
Don't assume that he or she will start back smoking like before. A "slip" (taking a puff or smoking a cigarette or two) is pretty common when a person is quitting.
Do remind the quitter how long he or she went without a cigarette before the slip.
Do help the quitter remember all the reasons he or she wanted to quit, and forget about the slip as soon as possible.
Don't scold, nag, or make the quitter feel guilty. Be sure that the quitter knows that you care about him or her whether or not he or she smokes.

- If your quitter relapses:
If a relapse happens, think of it as practice for the time he or she will succeed. Don't give up your efforts to encourage and support your quitter.
If the person you care about fails to quit or starts back smoking:
Do praise him or her for trying to quit, and for whatever length of time (days, weeks, or months) of not smoking.
Do encourage him or her to try again. Don't say, "If you try again..." Say, "When you try again..." Studies show that most people who don't succeed in quitting are ready to try again in the near future.
Do encourage him or her to learn from the attempt. Things a person learns from a failed attempt to quit may help him or her quit for good next time. It takes time and skills to learn to be a non-smoker.
Do say, "It's normal to not succeed the first time you try to quit".
Most people understand this, and know that they have to try to quit again.

Remember:

* You should be patient and supportive
Smokers you are going to try to help are facing what is potentially one of the greatest challenges of their life. And give yourself a pat on the back, too.
Helping someone get started on the road to quitting smoking is one of the best things you can do for his/her health.

* You can help others to quit smoking even if you are a smoker!
You can help others even if you yourself smoke. The best way to help others is to quit at the same time! It's the most effective and credible way to prove that you are serious about the hazards of smoking.